I returned home (after 25 years of carousing the globe) to stay with my parents after my third (and one hopes final) breakdown. I was way down deep in my burrow of blackness. Imagine: a 40 plus-year-old woman who had left home at 17 to make her way in the world, travelled/lived in other countries, ran her own and other people's businesses and lived amongst the glitterati of the entertainment business; now moving home to her parents. That perceived high life disappeared in an instant.
After a string of unfortunate employment choices I had ended up being stranded in Vegas and was on the precipice of ending it all (what better stage for a highly dramatic finale, thank you Libra Ascendant*). A month later, I'm back in a small town in New Zealand licking my wounds and willing myself to peek above the sheets of despair and imagined failure.
So where does the gratitude cup come into the picture? I had to be grateful I was still in existence and that due to the immense love and care of an array of wonderful folk; still breathing (albeit shallowly). Gratitude was my first order of business. Despite the unkind things a few people had done, I was fortunate I had a much greater cheering section for me that, if needed; would have gaffer taped me to the earth far from that precipice. So, my 'rehabilitation' began with gratitude.
In my book (in which I began to document this journey), I made a note that each day I would top up my mental gratitude cup with one thing. My cup like the tides, ebbs and flows but it's been a marvellous exercise in tricking myself out of the darkness of my burrow. What fills your cup?
Thanks for stopping by,
* A Libra Ascendant is a dramatic person who loves to be the center of attention www.exemplore.com
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The authors' ideas and perspective are solely hers except where duly credited to third parties.
This site does not provide prescriptive or medical advice. Readers should seek professional help with depression or anxiety symptoms.