Do you feel that when all seems right with the world you're stuck with the worry (the old ego gremlin) that disaster of some sort is lurking to throw you off a cliff?
For some, that's a daily fix of anxiety waiting in the wings to spray her foul scent of fear upon us. I have been lucky that the anxiety part of this illness has only manifested as a pre-cursor to a major episode and an attack is generally so surprising that the low frequency means I've had little practice at kicking strategies into gear to cope in that moment.
It's hard to remember to breathe when your innards tell you you're in the path of a giant beast albeit primitively imaginatively, right? Anyone who can count to ten whilst paralyzed in a supermarket aisle, with the added sense of trying not to look like a crazed individual; is in my mind Olympian.
I had such an episode this past Monday. All had been quite rosy of late and I was definitely not expecting the axe to fall. Sadly, after an emotional bout with the bank (who hasn't been there?), I collapsed onto the sofa amidst my fiscal failings and began to feel the onset of panic. I should have known it was all going too good, I berated myself! Then, the calm and practiced person (there is one within, he/she is like a secret muscle one needs strengthening) said 'you will not go there'. Simple as that, I just said no to those cramping thoughts. I called on a great friend who promptly rushed to my side and we laughed the night away. Woe be gone!
Since we can't always phone a friend when cowering in fear in the supermarket or even out on the street, I vote that, just like parking ticket dispensers; we need to install a panic button that either sprays your face in a steam of St John's Wort or alerts those in the vicinity to come to the rescue with a hug and a kind word.
Furthermore, I say park that button right up on the wall next to the obligatory defibrillator we now see everywhere. Am I right?! That said, I'm sure a defib probably feels like the better option when locked into an anxiety trap. What's the worst place you ever had an anxiety attack?
Thanks for stopping by.
Everybody should feel safe here sharing their thoughts and feelings on these posts and I encourage everyone to BE THEMSELVES!
NB. If you're an a!%hole you can 'hop off' though!
The authors' ideas and perspective are solely hers except where duly credited to third parties.
This site does not provide prescriptive or medical advice. Readers should seek professional help with depression or anxiety symptoms.